Friday, December 10, 2010

but there's a catch

I just got off the phone with my Insurance company and enrolled in an Infertility program they have... Now that i have this label on my forehead that says INFERTILE PERSON, I feel so much better... but not really.... I had to answer questions and fill out a questionnaire about our experience to see if I qualify... well guess what.. I do! DUH! I also asked about exactly what kind of coverage I have for the treatments and found out some bad news. IVF is not covered at all like I was originally thinking. Some of my medications will be covered i will just have to get reimbursements after I foot the whole bill. This may put a damper on things.

I think I am looking too far ahead though because that would only be if I had to go to the shots. Right now I am covered at 50% except for the Clomid I pay outright. I just need to focus on this round of IUI and not get to ahead of myself. I just like to know that what I have to expect in the furter and know we have other choices if IUI's on Clomid doesn't work. My RE will only do 6 cycles with Clomid before going to the shots.

I also called my FA (Finacial Adviser) and she told me that I should expect to pay about $300 for a full round of IUI. Which isn't too bad, but when all your extra money is going toward Christmas gifts and what not its hard to squeeze it out. I had a savings account for things like this but we used it to put a down payment on a SUV so when I got pregnant we would all fit in one vehicle.... Ironic now isn't it that I have the bigger car and nothing to fill the back seat except for my step son every other weekend. Hubster is working some over time and my AMAZING Mom gave us some money to put toward it to help out. She said it was a part of her Christmas present since I would be giving her another grandchild. She requested one with Red hair! I am a natural redhead and my DH has blond hair with a red beard! His brother is a natural redhead as well, so I am hoping I can make her request happen. Although I wouldn't mind what color hair it has as long as its mine and healthy!

I want so bad to be a Mom but I want my own child. This may sound selfish of me but i don't mean it that way. DH and I have discussed adoption and are more than willing to go forth with that and may even if we have our own. I just want to feel what a baby is like inside me. I want to have a baby bump and have my DH put on my socks. I want to be able to lay in bed and have him feel my stomach and feel the baby kick his hand. I want to go through labor and have that picture of us in the hospital with me looking horrible, but so happy. I want to be able to look at that baby and see a part of me.

ok I am done venting... off to see how much more I can squeeze from our budget.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Let's Play Catchup

I started this as a way to journal what is going on and help me get things off my chest. I always write to help me clear my mind. Not saying I can do it well, I just type as like I am telling a story. Hopefully here I can vent, rant, cry and jump for joy! Also, it will help remind me where I started on this scary road to being a Mother!

Let me just catch you up on things going on so far....

 My Husband and I have been trying to start our new lil family for about a year now with no luck. Frustrating frustrating frustrating....  After about a year of peeing on sticks, getting hopes up, having hopes crashed, and starting all over again the next month, we decided to see why we haven't been able to do this on our own.

We met with a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) and she got us into testing immediately, which really made me happy. One of my fears was us going and being put off a whole other month to get appointments for testing and what not so I was happy with the immediate jump in.

I had an ultrasound and everything looked good. She could see my lining was good, no cysts, I have plenty of Follies and she could tell both ovaries were hard at work.

So one test down, everything clear and normal, this is good...

I got in for blood work on the day after Thanksgiving and we have to wait for the results from my RE.

Hubbs went in for his sperm analysis on the same day I had my HSG and then we waited for results. My HSG went fine it hurt a little more than I thought it would and they had to run the catheter twice because the first one, the balloon busted. As I get off the table she warned me I had some bleeding but not to be alarmed it was only minor, but then I look down and it looked like someone hacked into me or something. I had allot of bleeding after that for the next day and some cramping but nothing that was major. The radiologist came in and said everything looked fine and flowing beautifully... I had spill on both sides and no blockages... Relief was what came over me almost immediately.

Four test down, the ones we have gotten results back on are clear and normal, this is even better...

When I called for my appiontment to get the resulst the next available wasn't until that following Monday which was fine. I mean, we have waited a whole year what's one more weekend going to hurt?

We go to the appointment and I feel like I am walking the death march. I am so scared that they are just going to say "Sorry no go for you!!!" With all my test coming back normal I was frustrated and yet relieved at the same time. I kept telling myself "Well everything is allright with me physically, so It has to be something up with my hormones". Which for me was fine, those can be adjusted with meds. I was never really worried about my husband since he has a son from a previous marriage. We both assumed he was fine and the problem then inlaid with me. My step-son is now six years old and looks just like his daddy!

So she goes over my BW and tells me all my numbers are fine and where they all should be and normal, again, relieved... Then she gets to my DH test and we find out his numbers are good however the quality isn't what they should be. They are miss-shaped. The normal is 4% and his was in the 2%. She said this is low but nothing that really should be a defining diagnosis. She then put our diagnosis as Unexplained Infertility.

So we start making a plan of action. I am to start taking Clomid and then come in and do an IUI. I finally feel like we have a direction we are going in and feel like we are making progress. I was too late for this cycle since the day of the appointment I had already had my LH surge and should have ovulated the next day. So we get all the information and here we wait for my next cycle to start. Which should be right before Christmas!

I am blessed to have some good insurance because from what I am understanding everything is covered at 50%. I have a call into the office to talk to my Financial Adviser and see how much we will be out of pocket up front with this first cycle. Being its so close to Christmas and money is tight right now we discussed skipping this cycle and starting fresh in the end of January.

We shall see....